Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
