she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
