Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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