can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
