I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
