i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
