there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.