tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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