he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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