I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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