508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
