Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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