i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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