I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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