well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
