She is in my trunk
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I will be naked everywhere
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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