Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
