Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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