Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
