I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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