My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
