i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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