I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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