I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
