my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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