smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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