We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
