I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
