Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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