my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
