I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
