If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just invented taco cereal.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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