ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She needs sedatives and a leash
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
