How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm at about main and main street
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
