she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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