I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
