Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
