I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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