and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
