Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
