Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
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I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
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the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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