someone get that fucking seahorse.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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