windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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