Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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