I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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