Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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