Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
