I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
