First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize