why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize