she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
