Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
2020 sucks, I want a refund
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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