She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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