Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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