i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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