Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
