just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
