everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
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I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
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He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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