I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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