You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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