how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
