Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
