some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
